I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
