Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
