I hate all girls vehemently.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
