He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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