Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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