id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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