I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
