This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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