Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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