i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
