Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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