Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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