Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
