seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
