just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
