it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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