I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
