I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
