Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
