It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
youre lurking in front of me
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
