Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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