dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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