she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
