Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
