Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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