YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
