You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
