the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
