I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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