her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
