I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am spending my child support on dildos
Actions speak louder than pants.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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