maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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