I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
