we have pet lesbian snakes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
