if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Life is so much better after having sex.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
