He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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