can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
