help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
