i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
