Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
