Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
