I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
