So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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