This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize