i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
