I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
