you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
