my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
