I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
