fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
