Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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